Self-Sabotage: When You Throw Yourself Under the Bus

Sometimes we actually throw ourselves under the bus.  The Apostle Paul said, “For I do not understand my own actions, I do not practice or accomplish what I wish, but I do the very things that I loathe.”  Romans 7:15  Can I get an AMEN here.  This isn’t church, but I have found it is human nature.

It could be a business deal, a relationship, our diet goals or personal goals.  Up for a promotion but keep showing up late to work all the time?  Go to a job interview and screw it up, maybe you did it on purpose.

We sell ourselves short or just even defeat ourselves over and over and over again.  See, if I screw it up then you didn’t really reject me.  Basically, I rejected myself, so you can’t.

Are you your own worst enemy?  Do you keep falling short of the mark you set for yourself and then beat yourself up afterwards.  Could be your setting the mark ridiculously high for  yourself.  Were your parents hard on you?  You learned this behavior somewhere in life.  But, it is not really working for you anymore.

It is important to achieve high goals, but not to beat yourself up when you fall short.  Also, if the mark is so extremely high you will always feel you can’t reach it and it becomes self-defeating.

Could also be you don’t believe at some level that you deserve it so you sabotage yourself.  Sound crazy.  Well when was the last time you told yourself your getting out of debt and then racked up your credit card bill.  Know anyone who tries to diet and then eats more of everything bad in sight.  Almost like a compulsive kind of behavior.

Are you trying to punish yourself for something?  Could be unresolved issues from childhood.  Counseling could help.  Life coaching looks more at behavior and changing it right away.

The key to stopping self-sabotage is recognizing it.  If we don’t call a spade a spade it won’t be seen as one.  So the first step in any recovery process is the desire to STOP IT!!  Once you desire change you are on the road to recovery.

Self- sabotage is tricky because it is a dysfunctional behavior pattern and it is based on a limited way of thinking about ourselves.  Somehow we don’t believe we are worth more.  Deep down inside we have given up on ourselves.

We have dug our own rut and are stuck in it!

You have to challenge your beliefs. You might need a journal and some time to reflect.  Write out what is happening, what you are doing over and over.  What are you telling yourself.  You need to reprogram your self-talk.

You also need to focus on pushing yourself toward what you really deserve in life.  You are worth the promotion, the better relationship, succeeding at your goals.  You have to change what you believe first to stop the behavior.

Sometimes it requires a step back.  Where did you learn this unhealthy behavior?  It is time to unlearn it!  Refocus your attention toward things that will help you grow and heal.  This may require some life coaching.

Whatever you do be sure and TAKE A STEP FORWARD in the right direction toward what you deserve in life.  Become your own best friend and not your worst enemy.  Don’t throw yourself under that bus ever again!!