Death, divorce, loss of a job or income can be very painful but even more so around the holidays. My parents died when I was young and my sister just died last year. God has been gracious to me my whole life because in every loss I have come to know and rely on the love God has for me.
Christmas brings up all the memories of times past and it can be difficult. Everyone has had some significant losses, but what to do with Christmas. I know in my own life I have learned to appreciate and deeply value my other family members more because of the ones who are gone. You just never know what a year may bring, so it is time to really be present in the moments you have with your family.
Have more fun, laugh more! Create new memories. Stay in touch even if you or they are extremely busy. The biggest regret people express is I wish I had visited them more, called more or spent more time with them. Everybody has time for an email, a text, a card or letter, surprise packages or a phone call! Tell the folks in your life what they mean to you. Say I love you more often because they won’t always be around.
The first step in overcoming a loss is to move toward something. We are missing the familiarity and security those memories created so move toward new relationships. If your family lives far away create friends who are like family to you. Create new rituals with neighbors, co-workers or friends. Christmas is the time of giving to others.
Loss of income can be a big one this year. We all don’t have as much to spend. But ever notice the gifts worth getting don’t really cost much. Be creative!! We all have time, love, the ability to notice when someone needs a hand.
I don’t have much money but I saw a bell ringer for the Salavation Army ringing his heart out and I thought you know I do have a quarter in my pocket- so why not. It is ok to remember the past with our loved ones, it’s all a part of grief. But don’t forget the precious present moment and who you still have in your life to love and be loved with!!
Marianne loves to help people reach their goals: through direction, accountability, and years of experiencing what works and what doesn't.
"Her drive and enthusiasm shows how passionate she is about coaching and in empowering and helping others move forward." -- Carole Cowperthwaite O'Hagen, Executive Coach and Trainer